Winter, not what you expect
by Nina1810
Summary: A fanfiction of Jack Frost. Does he know? Does he want me? Is a winter spirit even suppused to be with an autumn spirit? Is this right?
1. Chapter 1

_**I just want to say that I'm new and that all of the characters ( except maybe one ) you recognise from movies, belong to their rightful owner. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! Except Hazel.**_

I've been standing under that tree for hours, waiting for him. He wasn't going to come and I knew it and he knew it and all of the world knew it. The leaves and snowflakes knew it too. We all did. And it crushed me, I crumbled just like all of the autumn leaves…

 _A few months earlier._

I was standing in the courtyard of a palace watching people, princes and duchesses flirt their way through the garden. I made a little breeze set me down on the ground and I straightened my back, in a hopeless attempt to look strong. Walking to an oak I turned to see the last rays of the setting sun. It was a perfect autumn day.

"Hello," his voice rang in my head. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is." I answered the day I met him. "I'm not."

"Nonsense." he said smiling, he had such a pure smile that was almost calling you to join in on the grin.

"What's your name?" he asked looking me in the eyes, his smile fading.

"Hazel Fall."

"That's a nice name. Do you know mine?"

"No," I lied. "and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to."

"Well then." he looked hurt. "I hope you have a good life, Audrey Fall. And a winter free one."

I stood there under that tree with one thought and one word on my lips:

 _Jack Frost._

I want him to come here again. Last year he met me right here and he said he'll see me again. And I wanted him to come.

Just as the sun kissed the Earth goodnight I felt my heart sink. Deep down, sink under the part of me that knew he forgot about me, but I kind of wanted him. Not like I had some history with him and not like I gave him a reason to come back… But I wanted company. 217 years of being all alone was never good for someone. I watched the bal come to an end and a man stand up on the podium and say:

"Thank you all for attending the bal, and dressing up in honor of fall. And of course thank you for welcoming winter." a big applause followed the man's words and slowly the crowd started to fade away. I waited 'til midnight. No sign of him. I gave up. What was I thinking? That someone who is loved and worshiped by so many will just come meet someone who dismissed him? Yeah right.

But then. Then I felt a breeze. It was so cold and so chilly, it seemed to freeze the leaves. It was him. How did I know that? The wind told me so. That's the only thing I ever wanted to hear.

"Well," a deep voice said. "look who's here."

"I thought you have somewhere else to be." I said turning to look at the barefoot boy with a mop of white hair and such eyes... blue as the winter sky.

"Thinking isn't the most reasnoble answer sometimes, you know?" he said coming closer.

"Then what is?"

"Fun." he said with a grin spreading across his face.

"Is it just me or is it getting colder here?" I asked with a turn. I started walking down a little path. I felt his eyes on the back of my neck and I guess he made me make leaves wirl around me in a small leaf tornado.

"You're nervous." he concluded.

"What makes you think that?" I said turning, spreading my hands and walking backwards, a gesture meaning that I am an open book.

"The leaves." he said an even newer smile creeping up his face. "It happens to me sometimes too. When I'm frustrated or exited I can't control my element that well."

"An element?" I smirked. " _That's_ what you call snow?"

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just weird."

"Well isn't everybody?"

"Not really. But I'm weird for sure."

"You? No, not you, you're perfect." I thought I heared him say, but it must have been my imagination.

 _ **I just want to add that I'm using some phrases too and that I would be so so so grateful if you would read this and tell me what you thought of it! ( Sorry for the spelling mistakes ).**_


	2. Chapter 2-Fun

"Hey," I said shakily "um, what should I say?"

"What?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "Is it my job to know that?"

"It's just really uncomftrable."

"You mean the silence?"

"Well, yes and the whole situation." I said as he stepped closer and tilted his head, leaning on his staff.

"Do _I_ make you uncomftrable?" Jack teased.

"No!" I said a bit louder than I wanted to. I cleared my throught and straightened my back, giving myself time to calm down. "It's just that now that you're here I don't know what to say."

It was true. I was completely confused. Guess I didn't really think about actully meeting him again. I sat down on the ground wrapping my arms arond my knees. Jack crouched down beside me and tilted his head so I couldn't avoid his blue eyes.

"I know just what you need, Fall." Jack said as he said lifting off of the ground. I was confused about following him, until:

"Are you coming or not?"

 _Yeah_ I thought but I just nodded and a warm breeze picked me up. When I got close to him I could feel his cooler, harsher storm. He was something so much more than me, so much care free and fun. I took a good look at the castle under us. The lights were already put out and the Anual Ball of Winter 2014 was already over. In the darkness the only thing shining was the moon. It was a full moon that night and it was in it's full glory. The autumn leaves were all on the ground except for a few still hanging from the trees. The snow wasn't yet about to fall, but it got colder when Jack arrived. I realised that small snowflakes started falling out of nowhere, there weren't any clouds in the night sky. Jack either wanted it to snow or couldn't control his feelings... Absurd! He knows only my name!

Then something cold hit me on the back of my neck. I turned to see Jack snicker.

"You can't be serius!" I said trying to get all of the snow out of my sweater. I really liked that sweater. It was a brown, knit sweater with orange patches. And it whent well with my jeans, sneakers, messy dark blond hair and brown eyes.

"I am completely serius!" He shouted from high above me. I summond a few dozen brown leaves and made them fly in his face.

"Pfft. Blah." I heard him scream as the leaves got tangled in his hair. Seeing him like that made a childish laughter sneak out of me.

"Ha ha ha." He joined in with his deep-voiced-pure-hearted laugh. Then he flew to the ground, me following him. There was snow ( I havn't noticed before ) everywhere. He reached down and swiftly made a snowball and threw it at me.

"Argh!" I screamed as the snow hit me right in the stomach. "Jack!" He just kept on laughing so I decided to take him by surprise and throw a snowball of my own. It hit him right in the face and he stammered backwards falling into the snow. Even when he rose, hitting me with 3 snowballs I still couldn't stop laughing.

"See?" he asked.

"See what?"

"Th fun!" he said as exited as a little kid with that childish never ending spark in his eyes. A long silence followed his ecoing words and I used that calm to study his face. He had big cheekbones and a strong jaw, his eyebrows were much darker than the reast of his hair, black, even. I could see his eyes resting on mine, his smile fading, his muscels relaxing. Even in this dim light he looked so strong, like the moon was giving him power, like he's living.

His words broke the silence:

"What color are your eyes?" he asked coming close.

"I don't know." I said trying to hide the sudden color in my cheeks.

"They're brown..." he said. "In the middle. But then on the outide they're kind of orange and yellow, even green. They're beautyful."

"Thanks." I managed and stepped away from him.

"Well," he said turning away. " I guess my job is done here."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"My purpose is to bring fun to those who need it, and I think I've done a good job here."

"Thanks." I said. He smiled and I smiled back as he flew away and left me under that tree, forever lonely. I tried to mask the sorrow and pain. _He was just doing his job, of course. I'm just a client, a shadow who just needed some_ _ **fun.**_

 _ **Okay! Thanks for reading and all. Hope you liked it and everything. Sorry for the spelling mistakes. If you would be as nice to leave me a comment I'd definitly answer.**_


	3. Chapter 3-Smile

_**You're going to notice that I wrote 2 chapters from Hazel's P.O.V. and then I'll continue with 1 chapter from Jack's P.O.V. and 1 from Hazel's. Hope you'll enjoy it.**_

She was standing there, still looking in the direction I flew away. I didn't really want to end it like this. She was clearly hurt and I felt like such a moron for leaving her with basically calling her anybody. But she wasn't just anybody. And although I didn't know her well I felt something strong for her. She was just as lonely as I was before people started believing in me.

People usually say that things that are dusty are old, but I have a different theory. She had that hair that was darker and then at the ends it god lighter. Girls usually wore that as a summer look, but if you laid eyes on Hazel you'd immediately know it was a fall look. And that's what dusty things are like: different. She isn't old, aging she's just standing in that one spot, in that one moment. Forever lost in thought.

A sudden swirl of leaves made a kind of shield around Hazel and she turned to a breeze that was carried away. I jumped up and flew as fast and silent as I could, trying to follow the wind. She got lost in all the other leaves and I couldn't see her anymore.

"Hazel?" I asked trying to find her. I realised I was in an open field and surrounded by a storm of leaves. Brown, yellow, orange and red just swarmed around me. It was breathtaking.

"Jack?" I heard a sweet voice say. I turned hoping to find her, but all I've seen was just the same as in front of me: a field circled by leaves.

"Where are you?"

"Everywhere. You?"

"I-" I stammered as a warm blast of air picked me up, it wasn't mine. "I don't know."

"You're playing my game now." She said appearing in front of me. I summoned a cold wind to keep me from falling to the ground as she let me go.

"Okay…?" I whispered.

"Good." She said letting herself fall into a pile of leaves she made of the storm. She just dissapeared in the mess. She wasn't coming out for a few minutes. My heart started beating fast and my breathing quickened.

"Hazel!" I panicked as I rushed to the pile and started digging through the leaves. "Are you okay?"

"Ha ha ha." I heard her giggle from somewhere to my right. She was leaning on a tree and smiling. Her smile was so warm, not like summer, but like all the warmth of autumn just was a part of her.

"You tricked me!" I shouted in a playful tone, getting closer to her.

"Yes," she said going deeper into the woods. "but you care for me."

"Well-"

"You were lying when you said you were just doing your job." she could see right through me. And to think that I made her sad. "Weren't you?"

"Maybe," I said. "maybe not."

"I think you didn't mean it." she stated as I followed her deeper into the forest. "I think you were trying to play it cool and failing at it."

"Me?" I said trying to look hurt. "Failing in being cool? Come on! I'm the winter spirit! I'm forever cool!" And to prove it I made a little snowflake and sent it flying towards her.

"Yeah but-" she was cut off by a terrible howl. She turned slowly as did I, to see a huge wolf behind us. He was dark grey with long fur and bared teeth. He growled at us and then before I could even take hold of my staff he pounced. He was on Hazel in a matter of seconds and slobbering all over her.

"Hey!" I shouted at the beast before it could hurt her. "You big sack of meat and blood! Leave her alone!"

The creature slowly got off her and made its way towards me. It pounced and in mid air it let out a yelp, falling to the ground. I hurried over to Hazel and helped her up. She didn't seem hurt.

"Are you okay?" I asked to make sure she was fine.

"Yeah…" she said rubbing her shoulder. "Thanks."

"Well," I said looking down at the frozen wolf and slightly leaning on her. "I guess you owe me a kiss now."

"What?" she asked raising an eyebrow. "Did the guardians kiss you after you saved the world?"

Joking. It looks good on her. Just like smiling. It gives face a certain light. It makes her look alive.

 _ **OKay thanks for reading again!**_


	4. Chapter 4-Where?

I got so insecure, but didn't show it.

 _I guess you owe me a kiss now._ rang in my ears for hours after he left. The way the words escaped his lips made me think. Did he mean that? Or was he just kidding? I don't know what kind of answer I was hoping for.

I flew to a near town and found a peaceful tree I could rest on. A storm was coming this way, but I've found a big enough tree to be safe. My fair flapped wildly around my face while the storm kept raging on. I fell asleep after a few minutes of staring at the pouring rain.

When I woke up there were these feet in front of me.

"Hey." a friendly voice said. I turned to my back ( realising I fell from the tree in the middle of the night ) so I could see him better. His white hair was blinding in the morning sun, the storm seemed to have gone away completely.

"Uuugh…" I croaked. "Leave me alone. I want to sleep." His smile was even whiter and brighter when he started to chuckle.

"Get up!" he said reaching down to help me up, but I rolled away from him. "I have something planned for us." That got my attention and with a sore back I got up from the hard ground. I dusted off my pants and sweater. I had these big, black hunter boots on, they were really comfortable. I tied my hair into a messy braid, putting some dry leaves in it. I liked those leaves in my hair, they gave me a kind of authentic look.

"What kind of plans?" I asked suspiciously.

"Only one way to find out, Hazel." he smiled

"Wrong."

"What?"

"There are 2 ways to find out." I said stretching my arms. "1) I go with you and don't ask questions and 2) torture you for information." His laugh filled the park I apparently slept in. And I had to use all of my willpower not to come closer to him and look him in those blue eyes and kiss him on his pale lips. He noticed me staring. Crap!

"What?"

"Nothing." I said a bit too fast and obviously blushing. I looked down at my feet when he came a few steps closer and crouched down to find my gaze. He found my eyes and decided to hang on to them.  
"Hey," he said softly. "you don't have to be embarrassed around me, you know?" I just nodded in response, biting my upper lip.

"Good." he exclaimed standing up. "Follow me. I won't lead you into a forest with wolves."

"I-" I was cut off by his cold wind picking me off my feet and taking me up into the air. I had to try hard to keep my leaves in my hair. After 20 seconds of being up in the air like this I decided to finally speak up.

"You know I can just follow you using my own powers, right?" I asked him shouting over the whistling wind.

"Yeah I know." he answered.

"So why don't you let me?"

"Because then I have full control over you." he said stopping and leaning in close to whisper into my ear. " _Full_ control."

I started to blush and saw him look confused as he started flying me further, like something took over him, something bigger than him. Then he turned his head and looked at me apologetically and I felt a cold blast drag my hand closer to him and for a second I thought he would take my hand. But the wind guided my hand to the small of his back. I almost stopped I started scratching his back, the wind forcing my hand up and down his spine.

"Oh yeah" he moaned. "That's the spot."

"Frost!" I yelled at him, furious.

"Ha ha ha!" He laughed. "Would you say this bothers you?"

"Yes, it does!"

"Are you FROST-rated?" he chuckled at his bad pun.

"That was terrible."

"Which one? The pun or the scratching?"

" _Both._ "

"Ahh come on!" He said setting my hand free. "The pun wasn't _that_ bad."

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you taking me?"

"A place you might like."

"Please tell me where!" I pleaded.

"The pond where I died." If he's going to show me something so personal I should plan on telling him something so painful too. But it felt like whatever we had was moving too quickly, a dream dragging me into a slumber after a long day, but I'm still curious: will it be a dream? Or a nightmare?

 _ **Sooooo yeah. Thanks for reading, leave me reviews if you want to. I guess I'm going too fast with this whole 'falling in love'. But I've got some bumps planned. he he he ( evil laugh ) *insert dramatic thunder here***_


	5. Chapter 5-Memory

She obviously got way more nervous after I told her where we were going. It was a really personal place, but if I wanted to get closer to her and find out more about her, then I had to open up a little bit. When we landed I lowered her to the ground, but I on the other hand flew to the water and froze the lake.

"What know?" she asked as I turned to look at her. "Do we tell each other our darkest secrets or what?" she added sarcastically.

I just stood there looking at her, examining her, carefully. She had those wide hips and thick thighs. She wasn't one of those skinny and 'perfect' people. She had a lot of freckles and a small mouth. But it all looked good on her. She was beautiful.

"What?" she said in a raspy voice.

"I-um…" I stuttered violently blushing ( I don't know if I can actually blush ). "Um, let's just skate, for now."

"Skate?"

"Mhm."

"You do know I can't skate at all, right?"

"I assumed. That's why I've brought you here: to teach you how to skate. You're missing out on a lot of fun stuff, you know?" I said stretching my arm out towards her. "Are you coming?"

"I don't know if I can trust you, Jack." she said, but still took my hand. She stepped on the ice, insecure, at first, but then regaining her balance she took a few steps towards me.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." she said giving me a nervous smile. "Where are the skates?"

"Right here." I said waving my hand towards her boots. "Don't worry it's not that cold."  
"Easy for you to say." she said looking down to her newly made ice-skates, then up at me.

"Well," I stuttered when her eyes met mine. I quickly looked away. "you have your boots on, so it shouldn't be that freezing."

"What about you?"

"I can't feel the cold."

"Oh." she said looking curiously onto the ice. "Are you going to teach me how to skate or what?"

"Yeah," I said a bit too fast, and then tried to correct myself, speaking softly and slowly. "Yeah."

"So…" she said gripping my arms and looking down at her feet. "How _did_ you die?"

"Mmm, touchy subject, but-"

"Oh! If you don't wanna talk about it it's fine."

"No, no, it's okay." I said studying her face.

"In my past life-"

She tripped and flew into my chest.

"I had a sister. And one day we came here to skate."

She obviously seemed flustered.

"The ice was cracking under her feet." I continued as the memory flashed in my head. "And I saved her. I fell into the water instead of her"

"That's a heroic way to die." she said smiling at me as we kept making circles around the lake.

"I think I've got the hang of it." She said letting go of my hands.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." And with that she started circling the lake as I slowed down to see her go.

"You're doing great!" I shouted to her when she was on the other side of the lake.

"Thanks." She shouted back. After a while she stopped in the middle of the lake. Looking deep into my eyes. Hazel started to smile a genuine and peaceful smile. Happiness creeped up my face too. But then the ice started to crack under her weight.

"Oh my god!" I panicked.

"Jack…" she looked at me with fear in her eyes and at that moment I knew what she was gonna say.

 _Jack I'm scared._

"I'm scared." But she wasn't a kid anymore and I had to use some other technique.

"Your fine, Hazel, just relax." I tried to calm her down as I reached for my staff. I made the skates disappear from my feet as I took a few steps forward, staff in hand. "You're gonna be just fine…"

"Jaaack." She said her voice quivering. i noticed the ice crack some more. My heartbeat sped up so much I could hear its beating in my head.

"Take a few steps forward!" I told her.

"Yeah right, Frost." she said still nervous, but did what I wanted her to. Then the ice cracked and she started to scream and my heart stopped when she disappeared.

"Hazel! No!" I screamed standing in one place, not daring to come closer. "I-"

"Ha ha ha." I heard her laugh as my heart sank. That was the worst prank anyone could ever play on me.

"You forgot that I could fly." She mocked landing on the ice beside me. "You forgot that _you_ could fly."

"That was not funny." I spat in her face, inches away from her. "You just made fun of the time I almost lost my _sister_." I said as tears started to build up in my eyes.

"But you saved her." She argued still looking confused.

"Yes, but you reminded me how it would have felt if I didn't." Turning away from her, I didn't let the tears escape.

"Jack-"

"Just-! I thought you were different! That you'd understand."

"I do-"

"How could you possibly understand?"

"I've lost my brother." That did the trick. I turned to see her gaze fixed to her feet.

"What?" I asked getting a bit closer.

"I failed, Frost." She was obviously remembering a painful memory. "My brother died building a treehouse. We were in the woods and when we thought we've finished, he made me climb on first. He stood under the tree house when it came tumbling down. I died with him." Tears started to flow down her cheeks. She looked up at me with puffy eyes, she was one of those people who easily got red when crying.

"I killed him." she cried into the cold air. The temperature got dangerously low and it wasn't me.

"No, you didn't." I said hugging her.

"Yes I did. I should have been more careful."

"You were just a kid-"

"I was 17, Jack. I should've known better."

"But you went up there first so if it falls he wouldn't be the one to crumble down with it." After that she just buried her face into my chest. And I thought _What if this is just about to work, Hazel and I. Maybe we're not so different after all._

 _ **A huge thank you goes out to all the people who have read my story this far! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR READING!**_


	6. Chapter 6-Believe

He was so fragile yet so strong. He reminded me of roses, beautiful, strong, defensive and soft. I thought of his eyes when we got off the eyes and he flew away to find someone. His eyes where the raindrops on the petals, sparkling, the jewels of the flower. His hair was the color of the white rose and his hugs… well, when he hugs me touching something cold has never felt so warm. _Stop thinking like that!_ I turned on myself. _He probably, no actually definitely has someone to love and you're just a bad joke, a pest._

My thoughts were interrupted by a thud followed by a giggle, then Jack's laugh and then a little boy ( 10? maybe? ) laughing.

"Hazel!" Jack shouted. "Look who I've brought here to meet you!"

"He can't see me." I said miserably looking at the boy who's brown hair was covered in snow and eyes glowed wildly. "It's not important."

"Aw," he pouted, then smiled. "c'mon! At least try!"  
And with a sigh I made some leaves rustle and a wind blow, the kid didn't react.

"Okay, Jamie." Jack turned to the boy. "What did I tell you?"

"You said:" Jamie started. "she's a fall spirit, she's a girl, her name is Hazel F… uhhh."

"Fall." Jack helped him.

"Fall," Jamie corrected himself. "And you also said that she's really pretty."

"Hey! You weren't supposed to say that!"

"Clever kid." I smiled at the comment, but could still feel my cheeks blush.

"Okay," Jack said to me. "Try now." I summoned some green leaves that were still lying around and raised them with a small breeze in front of the child and when he concentrated on the leaf, I slowly turned it brown.

"Ah" he gasped. "Hazel? Hazel Fall." he cheered when his eyes stopped on me. _On_ me. He sees me!

"Y-you…" I stuttered. "You can see me!"

"You were right she is pretty." he told Jack.

"I know, right?" Jack whispered back. I ignored their muttering and just could not believe this.

"He sees me!" I shouted then repeated it quieter every time. I looked a bit at Jack and a bit at Jamie. Then out of nowhere I hugged the boy. "Thank you." I started crying on his shoulder.

"It's my pleasure." He said hugging me back. "Sophie will like you."

"Sophie?" I said as I pulled away, kneeling and brushing away the tears.

"My sister. C'mon! Let's go find her!"

"How old is she?"

"4."

"How will I make a 4 year old see me?" I asked when I felt Jack's hand rest on my shoulder. When I looked at my hands they were covered in black eyeliner and make-up.

"Oh god! Do I look really messy?" Jack laughed at my question, but then rested his eyes on my face.

"It suits you well." He said brushing my hair away from my eyes. I held my breath for a few seconds. But fortunately Jamie broke the silence.

"Are you coming?"

"Yeah." I followed him to a nice backyard and sat down on a swing.

"Sophie!" he screamed for his sister. "So, can you fly too?"

"Yes, I can." I smiled at him. Then I noticed that Jack has gone to bring Sophie here.

"Do you know that he really likes you?" Jamie asked.

"Who? Jack?" I asked. Jamie just nodded. "No. He's just met me. He isn't supposed to like me."

"But he does." He said looking to see if Jack has returned yet. "He said that he's been watching you for the past 2 years."

"What?"

"Yeah. Ever since I've started believing in him he's been going on and on about some girl he was trying to get close to by watching her from afar."

"You mean spying on."

"Well, maybe… But do you like him?"

"I don't know…" A shadow moved on the roof and I could swear I could see something blue and white zoom past us.

"Ha!" I heard a little girl squeal. "Don't cry!" The mop of blond hair and pair of blue eyes came running to me and put it's little hands on my knees.

"You're so pretty! Don't cry!"

"Oh! You're Sophie. Right?"

"Yes." she gave me a grin.

"Well Sophie. Do you believe in magic." I smiled at her and in the corner of my eye I saw 2 smiling, deep blue eyes.

"Yes! Are you magic too?" she whispered the last part like if she said it too loud we would explode.

"Yes." I said it like it was a secret, leaning in close.

"Ha! Can you fly?"

As an answer I held her hands and slowly lifted off of the swing. I went just high enough for her to be on tiptoe.

"You _are_ magic!" she screamed with delight. Jack flew to my side and looked at me expecting a reaction. I just fixed my eyes on his and let him now, tackling him with a hug, that this was the best thing anyone has ever done for me.

"Thank you." I whispered into his ear.

"No problem."

After a while when we said our goodbyes and flew back to the tree I slept in the night before Jack stopped me by turning me to face him.

"He told you, didn't he?"

"What?" I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Don't be stupid! I heard you talk."

"Oh, so you were spying on me like for the past _2_ years?"

"I wanted to-"

"What? You wanted to what, Frost? Get 'to know me better'?"

"Listen I-" he couldn't finish. "I-, you wouldn't understand."

"That's right, I don't. If you don't tell me what's going on how am I supposed to know what to say?"

"Okay, listen. Let's just forget this ever happened. That you didn't have that conversation with Jamie and that we never argued. Okay?"

"Fine." I made a deal with him and watched him fly of. _If he's gonna keep doing this, how is he able to deal with much more serious arguments?_

I went to sleep with that though clawing at my brain.

"Good morning sunshine." woke me up in the morning followed by a smile, just like nothing happened.

 _ **Thank you for reading! Hope you'll enjoy the next chapter. Just a WARNING: in this story they will not be together for a longer period 'cuz I think that a relationship doesn't work that way, and I want them to fall in love slowly, I want it to be hard for them to admit their true feelings for each other. THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT! See you in a couple of days!**_


	7. Chapter 7-Goodbye (for a while, atleast)

How could she? Even her terrible past didn't really justify that prank. She doesn't know the feeling of drowning in darkness to save the one you love, she doesn't know the pain of the phrase: 'what if'. _What if._ What a powerful pair of words. When you think about it, 'what if' means not knowing, and not knowing is _fear._

She's made a mistake that day, 2 mistakes, actually. She didn't understand and I desperately wanted her to. I wanted her to know why I was doing some things, or why I've done some things. But she looked and listened, but didn't see and hear. She was trying, I'll give her that, but she didn't try _enough_. Her colors were burned into my eyes, just like I wished mine were into hers. I wished she could see why I 'spied' on her for so long and didn't say a thing. I was scared, I still am.

But this time it's not the fear of walking up to her and saying 'hi', this time… this time it was the fear of finding the wrong one, of finding the wrong 'Alice'.

"Good morning, again." Her lazy voice greeted. When she heard my voice and saw my smile she seemed confused, but then she smiled back and sat up on the tree branch. But I have noticed something, was that an honest smile on her face, or was she faking her cheery mood?

"Hey!" I said, a little jumpy. "Where do you wanna go today?"

"Well," she said brushing her hair with her fingers and pulling it up into a messy bun. "I didn't expect you to come here every day…"

"Oh." I said a bit disappointed. I could feel the muscles of my face relax. The fading of my smile was followed by her worried expression. "It's okay. I just though…"

"Hey, um" the corners of her eyes started to wrinkle, pulling her smeared make-up and freckles with it. Her smile seemed to apologize. "I never said I didn't want to hang out with you, I just don't feel like going anywhere."

"Then we're going to stay here!" I said raising a fist into the air in triumph. That made her laugh and sent a warm feeling into my stomach, twisting it, then crunching it together and finally releasing it and making it so weird, nothing like I've ever felt. I was so cold, always chilly never warm, but this was different, _she_ was different.

"I didn't say that either."

"And _I_ didn't say I was going to leave."

"Just- Please don't annoy me…"

"Oh, I'm in a really annoying mood, so teasing is inevitable."

"Okay. But this day is going my way." She ordered flying off the tree. "Let's go eat!"

"I don't need food. I had some 2 weeks ago." I explained. We immortals don't need food or water for about 3 weeks.

"Well, I haven't eaten anything for 20-something days and I'm hungry." Walking over to a hot dog stand she motioned for me to come over.

"What are you gonna do? Are you gonna steal?" I asked catching up to her.

"What? No!" Her eyes went wide from the thought of stealing. "Did you really assume I'd do that? Do you think I am a thief."

 _Yeah, you stole my soul and sanity. You're a criminal._

"No! Of course not!"

"Good." She nodded and then flew over the seller's head and took a finished hotdog with ketchup and mustard from his hand. Then when the vendor was confused she left a few dollars on the counter.

"See?" She asked taking a bite from the hotdog. Her hair was a different color today, it turned a sicker blond and her skin seemed paler, thinner. She started to cough after she finished her meal.

"A-are you okay?" I asked and felt snowflakes on my shoulders, I was worried.  
"Yeah." I didn't see her like this the past 2 years. "I'm just getting a bit sick, because I'm directly beside winter."

"Oh my god!" I said stopping her. We were walking through the park as little kids raced past and as dogs and smug expressions went by. Just then I had I realised that her breaths were followed by white clouds of smoke, it got colder. "I'm gonna leave."

"No. I'm fine, just a little drowsy." She yawned at my worries, getting deeper into winter, falling like her leaves.

"No, you're not. I need to get away from you."

"Do you think you're dangerous?"

"To you."

"NO!" She shouted and the white snowflakes met with rust-colored leaves. Her hair started falling out of her bun and down her shoulders as she shook her head. "Stay!" she looked deep into my eyes, begging me to stay for a little while. Not like earlier this morning, wishing to have a day to herself, this time she _didn't_ want another season spent alone.

"Please."

"I-" How could I say no to her? "I'm sorry."

"No…"

"It's for your own good."

"You sound just like all of the parents do." She practically cried. "Where has your fun gone?"

Now _that_ made me angry, but I just got close to her, keeping my rage at bay.

"Fun isn't fun if it's gonna kill you."

"I'm not going to die, Jack. I might fade a little, but I will not disappear."

"Has this happened before?"

"No-"

"Then I'm not taking the chance."

"But-"

"Goodbye." I left her there, not looking back. As a friend of mine used to say:

 _I hate saying goodbye._

"Why?"

 _Goodbye means going away._

"And you're gonna miss the person?"

 _And leaving means forgetting._

 _ **So? Did you enjoy this chapter? Excuse me for the spelling mistakes in the previous chapters ( I didn't have time to edit them ) and for the mistakes i this one if i have missed some.**_ _ **Okay! I am sorry, but I'll be traveling for the next few weeks and I won't be able to write as much ( like I've been writing much these days pffft ). Hope you understand!**_ _**Every time I have some free time I'll try to upload new chapters. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR!**_


	8. Chapter 8-Warm

I stayed there looking out into the blank sky, with half a hotdog lying on the ground. I couldn't believe he just popped into my life and completely messed me up in the matter of days and then as soon as he appeared, he disappeared. I've always wondered why I was here. Unlike Jack I remembered my past, a bit too well. I'm not believed in, transparent and I was left here with the memory of a terrible death, the death of the most beloved being I could possibly have, and all because of me.

He came here so suddenly, like winter comes and so he went away so suddenly, like winter goes.

I stood there feeling the heat rise back up to my cheeks and my head clear. I really _did_ need him to go away, I was getting sick. But I still felt a little ill, just like every other winter, the weather wore me down.

I flew back to my tree feeling so ashamed, embarrassed of my foolishness. How could I have been so naive to believe that 2 days of knowing someone- NO! Wait!- Not 2 days! A few words: a hello, a mean comment and a goodbye could keep me awake for months and could make me think of him!

I got so furious at myself for being so stupid! _You've watched people way longer than you've known him!_ I thought to myself.

I lay there on a branch, looking up at the few leafs dangling, clinging to the boughs of the tree. I let out a shaky sigh. In the cold air it seemed as if I was smoking, but I had an everlasting cigar, at least till I was gone.

"Where did I go wrong?" I whispered up to the faint sky, as if the moon could hear me at this time of day, as if he would listen. "Why am I here?" I waited for the answer only to hear the wind's howl pass through the park, carrying the laughs and sighs of children and adults.

"I thought you'd give me a purpose… I guess I was wrong."

I lie there stiff from the wood and just seem to trail of in a state that's between sleep and sorrow.

"Ahhh" I hear a scream come from under the tree. "Get away!" At first I thought it was Jack, but then I realised the person shouting had an Australian accent.

"Bunny?" I ask looking down to see a rabbit standing on his back 2 legs, over 6 feet and holding 2 boomerangs focused at a few pigeons.

"Pesky things, these birds." He says shooing them away, to only make even more of 'em come back.

"They like you." I laugh.

"Yeah well," he says looking up with a smile. "Many things and people like me: I'm the Easter bunny!"

"Mhm." I say being amused by Bunny and forgetting Jack for a few moments. But then he finds his way back into my thoughts.

"What's the problem, mate?" he asks, clearly noticing my sad expression. "Are you alright, Hazel?" I met him once before at an Easter celebration 50 years ago. In spring I start to recover from winter and in summer I feel better, but in autumn… that's when I'm really myself. I have met the spirit of spring, too. She's a really bright and beautiful girl with a dazzling smile and this chocolate brown skin and curly brown hair. She has a strong body and a straight back. She's the kind of person who can rock some jeans and a slim t-shirt (because of her perfectly flat stomach, duh).

"Oh, it's nothing." I reply with a convincing smile, but he doesn't seem to buy it.

"You sure?" He says suspiciously.

"Yeah, yeah." I assure him flying down the tree, my head a bit heavy and my vision fuzzy. "I'm sure." I say as I put a hand on his shoulder.

"You are so…" he takes a minute to ponder on how to continue. "Distant." He says finally. "From everything and everyone."

"And you are so…" I mimic his way of speaking. "fluffy. And I am _not_."

"You sound like a kid."

"So? Aren't you supposed to protect those?"

"Yes, I am. But you're no child."

"You don't know me."

"I bet I could guess a lot."

"No…"

"Want me to try?"

"Go for it!" I say leaning a bit back and crossing my arms.

"Hmm…" he takes his time looking me up and down, which, of course, makes me feel uncomfortable. "A painful past… right?"

"Yes." I say all stiff.

"Which we are not going to talk about." His Australian accent comforts. "Not really believed in…"

I look down at my feet, embarrassed.

"But!" He shouts in triumph, only then I notice that we're the all alone in the park, of course, everyone would notice the Easter bunny hopping around an empty tree talking to thin air. "Someone… Jamie?"

"Yeah."

"Good lad. And there's something more… A boy?"

"I-"

"Don't deny it! Would you tell me or do I have to figure it out myself?"

I shake my head, meaning: I don't want to talk about it. He either ignores it or just doesn't care.

"Is he tall?" He asks.

"Well, yeah… But-"

"Eye colour?"

"There is nothing serious between me and a boy!" I say, harsher than I intended to, but glad to finally shut him up.

"Listen..." He says rubbing the back of his neck. "I need to go…"  
"Okay." I say smiling.

"Um, if you want to reach me just tap your feet 2 on the ground and a tunnel will open leading you to my hide-out."

"Thank you."

He started to back away from the tree and tapped twice with his long foot. A hole in the ground opened up a few feet away from him. As he walked to the fissure in the ground he started to sing (howl, whine, just 'sing terribly):

"Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me." He sang the theme song of an old Disney series: Kim Possible. I laughed at his little performance.

"Will do." He jumped in when I was at the double ' _l'_ s. The crack closed automatically when he entered. I turned to the tree and breathed in the cold air. Then I noticed something white at the roots of the tree, a mug. It was made of porcelain, with a brown, steaming liquid in it and something written on it. I got closer to it and noticed the design was snowflakes and frost making a note written in a neat letters. I took the mug into my hands and looked at it closely. It was still the middle of the day but I felt drowsy and the ice shimmered in the sunlight.

The message hit me with a warm feeling, unlike the ice it was made of. I started to smile, looking down at it. The message is sweet, caring and above all full of love. He left this for me, he cares, he was here, maybe he still is. I took a sip from the cup and let the hot chocolate warm my body. After I've finished the drink I went to the tree and put the mug on a branch, so I could look at it. I read the message over and over again, repeating it until I was asleep.

 _Winter… Yeah well it isn't always cold. Sometimes it brings you warm thoughts like a fireplace or Christmas or hot chocolate. So here's something to keep you warm._

 _Sincerely: someone who cares._

And I just couldn't stop thinking about the last line: _Winter, not what you expect..._


	9. Chapter 9-Weak

_**Ahhh! So ashamed that I haven't posted this long! I'm sorry for not leaving my usual note at the end of the last chapter, but I was really busy and didn't have time to edit or double check the text. So I'll be traveling even more this summer so sorry if you don't get too many chapters… AND SORRY FOR THE SPELLING MISTAKES!**_

Why did I have to leave? _Because, stupid, she's ill!_ I thought. _And who's fault is it?_

"Mine." I grumble into my sweatshirt which I have buried my chin into. It was my fault that she was sick and it was my fault that I have left her there. I felt guilty. Why? 'Cause she'll be depressed and sad that I have gone in and out of her life. Or will she? I didn't know what to hope for: for her to be okay with me leaving? Or to hope that my absence will hurt her, meaning that she cares about me?

It's all so confusing… Then it hits me: I could still leave her something to remember me by! But what? What would she like? I know very little about her…

I should've been making a huge snowfight happen somewhere, but I continued to ponder over that thought for a while. I made my way to the lake and found a nice tree to settle into. I wondered if she's in her tree just like this, the sun warming her body. But then at that moment I realise what I've been missing: _she doesn't feel this warm, she's cold! I'm making it snow, for heaven's sake! What's something that could keep her warm? A drink… hot chocolate!_

I flew over to Jamie's house and asked for a cup of the hot drink. He gave it to me without hesitation and didn't even ask what it was for. I specifically asked for a white mug so I could put a new design on it. After exchanging a few words with Jamie I went back to the lake and sat on the ground, the snowflakes falling down around me. I carefully wrote a little note which took me forever to make up. I wanted to give it to her, but _not_ give it to her at the same time. So I decided to go and see what was going on.

When I reached her tree she was with… Bunny? I mean we were cool, Bunny and I, but still, what was she doing with him? Giggling? She didn't giggle like that when I tried to be funny! I was angry! Why would she be laughing at terrible singing and a bad joke? I felt the temperature dangerously plummet, so I calmed myself down and decided it was nothing. Although even I knew I wasn't completely over this.

I quickly left her the mug at the base of the tree, she seemed surprised to see it, but she enjoyed the drink and seemed pleased by the message. A smile creeped up my face, wrinkling the corners of my eyes when I hear her silently repeat my note laying on the branches in the afternoon light. She falls asleep by silently muttering the last lines of the message.

I loved the fact that she loved mysteries. But she was so caught up in reality, that she didn't have time for stories nor mysteries not even a good book. She- actually scratch that, she was caught up in the _past_. The unforgiving, cold, lonely past. I couldn't blame her, I have had a few things I regret, but her's was way worse.

And as my thoughts started to drift off, so did she. I flew over, taming the wind to a slight breeze, and touched her shivering arm. She was so beautiful in the evening light, but if you looked really close… she was as pale as ever. Before I left, for her and partially for myself, I carefully planted a kiss on her forehead and whispered:

"Winter's always here to keep you safe." It sounded cheesy in my mind, but when it came out it was full of caring and love.

In early March my snow started to melt. And I let it. In the past few months I watched over Hazel constantly. And now I make my first few steps (without the fear of her seeing me) since I left her. My chest was full of a sizzling hot, somewhat pleasant, feeling. I heard every step I took, the rustle of the green grass breaking through snow, my own heartbeat pulsing through every inch of my body. I could feel my staff turn colder and colder the longer I held it. I was nervous. So nervous, in fact, that the thought of turning away and never coming back again has crossed my mind, twice!

"Calm down" I mumbled to myself. "It's OK. It's just Hazel, how bad can it be?" But it was bad:

"Oh! Hi!" greeted a curly haired girl sitting next to Hazel, apparently they've been laughing about something.

"Um," I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Hello." I put on a smile with relief. It wasn't bad, I was breathing, I'm fine. "I'm Jack." I held my hand out and she took it, squeezing and shaking it well. Her chocolate brown skin felt so soft under my rough palm.

"My name is Zöe Bloom. And I've heard about you, Frost. Everyone has." She says with a smile.

"Yeah. Hey there." I hear a voice, like honey dripping from a tree.

"Hazel." I exclaim and pick her up with a big hug and hold her tight. Tighter than I intended too, I could hear her gasping for air and then I let her go. But not entirely. My hands placed on her shoulders, I looked her straight in the eye. She still seemed angry, but started lighten up a bit. "Are you okay? Am I making you sick now? Are you good friends with her? Did she keep you company? I missed you sooo m-" I cut myself off by sneezing.

"Is Zöe making _you_ sick?" She asked, ignoring my previous questions.

"No. I'm fine." And , right on cue, to show the truth I started coughing uncontrollably, my throat searing hot, the burning sensation spreading through my whole body and, unlike the nice warmth of autumn, sets my cold skin ablaze. I push my temples with my palms, desperately trying to shut the pain out. Through tears I looked at the ground and saw my staff lying on the ground, the earth around it frozen solid. I raised my head and looked at the two pairs of frightened eyes, one pair warm and full of wisdom, the other a bright turquoise, the color of hope and new beginnings, but also so curious, the bad kind of curious.

"I'm fine, really." I said straightening my back and wiping the tears from my cheeks, hoping they hadn't seen them, but even I could hear the quiver in my voice.

"Frost…" they said in unison, so softly… their voices are so persuasive together…

"You need to rest." I hear Hazel say, but I already see spots before my eyes. Then everything goes black. And the last thing I hear is Hazel screaming:

"Jack!"

 _ **So I have a few new ideas and I'm taking my laptop with me on my trip, but I still can't promise definite chapters. SORRY! But! You have no idea what I have in store for these two… Mu ha ha ha…**_

 _ **Ps.: You guys are awesome! Please leave your thoughts about the story so far so I can fix things that might not be so good in the future! THANKS FOR READING!**_


	10. Chapter 10-Alone

I've been sitting here for the past few weeks, worried, tired and crying. He's breathing so he's okay. I was lucky enough to get him here to Bunny's hideout. Easter's coming up and he's been busy, but I felt like I'm not really annoying him, because I just had to wait for Jack to get better.

It's been so silent by his side. I was furious, at first. Why did he show up and disappear and then show up again and faint. But my heart started to melt when I realised how dangerous this is. Bunny said that his reaction is worse because he's a Guardian. But I wasn't so sure.

I watched him wake up, sometimes screaming, sometimes crying, other times laughing uncontrollably, but the worst one was when he just opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, no movement, no reaction, no life. His state reminded me of the waves of the ocean, dragging him to the sand, me trying to pull him ashore, but the water collapsing over him again and again as I get my hands on him. Sometimes the waves pull me in, too, keeping me from the air, but I always manage to surface.

I couldn't resist the urge to close my eyes, sleep pulling me deeper and deeper. As I layed down on two wooden chairs, I heard a slight groan come from the bed by my side.

"Jack?" my head shot up so I could whisper the question, hope keeping me awake.

"Hey, Hazel." His smile showed as his blue eyes adjusted to the light, fixating on mine.

"I-, you were out for so long…"

"Well, I'm here now." he announced. And I was so tired, so sleepy, so cold and his eyes were so consuming, his arms so strong, his body radiating heat. Without asking, I crawled up next to him, in that small bed, he seems surprised at first, didn't know what to make of the situation, but then tightly wraped his arms around me.

"You're shivering, Audrey."

I freezed at the sound of my middle name leaving his lips. Then I turned my head so I could face him, inches away from his, and I just stared at him, puzzled. _How could he know that?_ He pulled his arm away in his moment of confusion and asked:

"What?" He raised his dark eyebrows, hurt. "What did I do now? I just woke up! What could've I possibly done."

"Audrey… How did you know that?"

"I-" He stopped to think about his answer. But the answer didn't come.

"Jack…? Have- have you been in the cellar? Through my files?" I said the last sentence already crawling out of his bed, standing up and almost shouting at him. Who does he think he is? Why on Earth would he go to the North pole, probably break into Snow's cellar and read everything there is to know about me? As I tried to take a few steps away from him, a strong hand caught my wrist, forcing me to turn around. His grip was so strong… it almost seemed impossible, since he'd been so weak these past few days.

"I just wanted to get to know you-" he tried to help himself out of this situation, but there was no way I'd just wave it off.

"And you didn't come here? To meet _me_? In _person_?"

"I couldn't bring myself to do it!" He sat up ever so slightly only to slump back on to his bed. I tore my hand away and realised it was green from bruises. He hurt me. I let that sink in.

"Do you think it's fair?" I said in such a hushed voice, I didn't think he could hear me, but what did I care? " And I feel like I shouldn't even care. You're just a temporary mistake… a problem I'm about to solve. Is it okay, these days, to barge in and out of someone's life?"

"I'm doing it to protect you, Hazel!" He yelled at me. He yelled. He never did that, he's always so laid back and, even when a little teasing, he's always so kind. Then again, he had already hurt me.

"Well," I said, feeling the hot tears stream down my face as I made my way to the only exit I could see out of this place. "if it's like that… Think we're both better off _alone_."

 _Alone_ hung in the wet air of the cave, consuming, crushing us both. I didn't want to look back, but I stopped at the opening of the cave. I took a step outside to get away. Away was the only thing I knew, the only place I was going. All at once a cold current blasted me back, then catched me, careful not to hurt me, how funny. It took me by the wrists and ankles, forming shackles that fastened me to nothing but air. My feet left the ground as I release a sound of fear I couldn't really describe, and I got turned around to face a standing, cold exprecionned Jack. But he wasn't looking at me, I couldn't see his eyes at all, he was staring straight at the floor, his fists clenched, tears flowing down his cheeks and dropping to the floor from his chin.

"Let me go!" I ordered, straining against his chains. No use.

"No." His voice is much steadier than I expected. "No, I won't."

"What's wrong with you?" I cried. He wasn't himself, he was not the Jack I came to know. "What are you doing?" Again, winter, not what you expect, and this time in the bad meaning.

"I can do anything with you right now…" He said shaking his head like this sentence brings so many possibilities, good and bad. Then he started laughing such a foreign, such a maniacal laugh, sending shivers down my back.

"This isn't you!" I managed. He became blurry from all the tears, but I blinked them away just to glance at his eyes for a second. My heart stopped for a second as I realised they were such a light colour… almost like the blue faded completely. Such a storm was coming.

"Yes, it is! I just don't let anyone see me like this!" He screamed. "This is a part of winter, too. The snow storms, the frostbite, the danger."

"NO!" I shouted, more determined this time. "Something's still messing with your head. You're still ill, still in bad shape, still… weak."

"I am strong! At least stronger than _you_!" Wow! Okay, OUCH!

"No…"

"What was that?"

"I said," I gritted my teeth. "NO! No you're not!" And to prove it I sent my own wind at him knocking him a few feet back. "I'm much more." A swarm of leaves flooded the cavern, drowning him in brown waves. "You are ill," I broke an invisible shackle. "You are scared," The other three melted away as he disappeared in the leaves. When I lowered myself to the ground the leaves parted to reveal a gasping boy. "You are _weak._ " I whispered and he finally went back to sleep.

And watching him like that on the floor, so peaceful, I just wanted to help him, because the previous Jack wasn't himself. With that came a thought I couldn't get rid of:

 _You're so many things…_ I walked out the entrance. _But you can't be mine._

 _ **Sorry for the late chapter!**_

 _ **I'm happy to announce that this is the 10th chapter *insert enthusiastic clapping and trumpets and drums here*. I really hope you liked it! And if you like something or don't and have some helpful advice please let me know!**_


	11. Chapter 11-Burn

No one was by my side when I woke up. I was lying on the floor, trying to get up, but falling back.

"Ah" I groaned. Every part of me ached, I was so sore. When I finally got into a sitting position my head spun even more. I couldn't remember much about what happened… Where was I? From the looks of it I was somewhere underground… Bunny's place! Ugh, him again. I tried to claw out, the deepest part of my mind, the events that have happened who-knows when. A few images flashed in my mind:

-My hand wrapped around Hazel.

-Me, yelling and hurting her.

-She, leaving the cave, crying.

-Her, hanging in the air, screaming.

-The colours fading to a sickly white shade.

-Me, being buried in leaves.

-Footsteps whispering one secret: the person that just left… is _never coming back_.

I didn't know what made me go so crazy, so wild… it must have something to do with this Zöe girl. Hazel was right, this wasn't me at all, it was someone else. It was a new, dangerous and evil side of me. I got that she was mad at me because of my research…

I needed to find her. She would never allow me to talk to her, of course, but I needed to try anyway. I took a hold of the side of the bed and forced myself on to my feet. Wow I was unstable! My head was spinning even faster and my knees kept buckling. I couldn't go anywhere like this. Then I noticed the sun. Warm rays of sunshine were lighting up the place, the sun seemed like the one you would have in may… How long have I been out?

The first time I got knocked out I slept for a week? 10 days? maybe. Now it felt like I've slept for more than a month.

Suddenly a shimmering figure appeared. I could barely see her, but she was definitely there, glowing, floating above the ground. A warm breeze brushed my cheeks. I could make out a few more detail when she entered the cave, pink flowers covering her left hand, brown, curly hair, chocolate brown skin and these magnificent turquoise eyes. _She_ wasn't Hazel.

"Hello." Zöe said lowering herself to the ground. "I just wanted to see if you're okay."  
"Well-" I started to cough again. "I'm not okay. And I don't mean to be rude, but I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave, thank you."

"No need to be so mean-"

"Yes!" I raised my arms in exasperation, even though every bit of the action hurt. "There _is_ need to be rude. I just lost someone I was chasing for years because you've made me lose my mind."

"Aw! You're losing your mind because of me? How sweet."

"I didn't mean it like that!" I grunted in disapproval. "I just want to be alone, okay?"

She paused for a minute and I could see it in her eyes that she was hurt.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't- I'm not thinking straight," I took a deep breath and decided to continue. "It's not _you_ , you… it's just you. I mean spring and the season."

"But I am the embodiment of Spring, Lover Boy."

"Why'd you call me that?"

"You're obviously trying to get her."

I just stared down at my feet, nervously smiling.

"Then go for it." I heard the wind whisper as I raised my head to see nothing. I pushed the thought of Zöe Bloom away and returned to the previous business of the cause of that fight with Hazel. _Was it because Zöe was so strong or because I was so weak?_ I thought. _Was it because I'm a Guardian? Or just because I'm… weak._ And for the next half an hour every thought led to me being weak. So it was settled, I was weak. But why? What had caused my weakness in the moment? No other Guardian is a spirit of a season… so they don't go through this, right?

My head throbbed as I tried to come up with an answer, but I couldn't think of anything. I put the hood of my sweatshirt on and pulled my legs up on the bed, hugging my knees. I squeezed my head in between my knees and noticed my staff leaned against the wall. Then I noticed something else, something white and small just beside the staff. A mug. My mug. I quickly scrambled to the other side of the bed to take a better look at it. It _was_ my mug. The one I gave to Hazel, just... different.

This time it had a lot of little green leaves on it. The position of the leaves gave you the feeling they were being carried by the wind. I got of the bed and slowly walked towards it, like it might bite. Turns out it didn't bite, it did something much worse. As I crouched down to pick it up, I noticed that the green leaves slowly started turning yellow as I turned the mug in my hand. Then they were orange, then brown and finally they withered away. When I gave the mug one last turn it was plain white.

There was no drink in it, just a note. I felt my heart sink as I read it, my gut twist as I realised what the design meant and my vision went misty as I let the not-biting, but _burning_ mug crash to the ground and break into a hundred little pieces.

 _My message isn't gonna be nearly as full of love as yours._

I stood up and took my staff.

 _It's going to be rather cold. But you're used to that, right?_

I started walking, wanting to step on the glass and break it even more, but not wanting to cut my bare feet..

 _I'm sorry if this hurts… but it hurts me as well._

You have no idea how this burns.

 _I can't keep letting you hurts me like this._

I was doing the opposite.

 _And I know that the last time I saw you, it wasn't… you._

I started running out the entrance into the daylight.

 _I didn't want to hurt you, and I guess you didn't want to hurt me, either._

Why would I?

 _But look at us? What have we achieved?_

I stared up at the sun as it burned my eyes. It hurt less than the note.

 _We aren't really close friends, not to talk about more than that._

Now I felt the tears.

 _Just imagine how we could hurt each other if we got even closer._

I'd never let you go if you just came back.

 _Jack… I'm saying goodbye to… to us, to whatever we had, to whatever we could become. And I'm saying goodbye to you._

I crumpled the note in my fist then let it be carried away by the wind. Just like she let us go.

 _ **I asked myself a few times while writing this:**_

 _ **Will I ever write a happy chapter? Will I ever let them enjoy each other's company?**_

 _ **And I have that in store, I really do, but not yet… just- not yet. I want to make that moment even better. And how will I make it better by making them suffer, you ask? Well I'm not gonna tell you, you'll just have to stick around to find out.**_


	12. Chapter 12-Stay

Staring at the green grass from that tree, so high up, I realised that I'll be the one to make that healthy green turn into a sick yellow and brown colour. I turned onto my back and looked at the sky, thinking about nothing in particular. And the mug came back into my mind, not his, but mine.

 _And I'm saying goodbye to you._

I let out a soft moan and let my arms hang down. And then it dawned on me, as I heard all the voices in the park, giggling, playing, having _fun_ , I was so lonely. It hadn't really occurred to me nor did it bother me, until now. A few days with someone and I felt the full meaning of the word: _alone_.

"Alone" I whispered into the warmth of the day. It was such a powerful word and no one really knew what it meant until they were left alone. Not for a day, not for a week, but for months. You never can understand _loneliness_ until you experience it's full fury. And it reminded me of him.

I turned onto my stomach hoping to see someone or something to distract me, to save me from the grief I've brought onto myself. Everyone was leaving, going home before the sun sets, except for one little girl. The spot of blonde hair and blue eyes stared at my tree from across the whole park. Wait, she wasn't looking at the tree, she was looking at something in it… ME!

"Sophie!" I sighed in relief, flying down the tree and running to her. "Sophie!" I shouted to make sure she could hear me.

"Hazel!" She waved at me and ran in my direction with a stuffed bear in her hand.

She giggled when I caught her and threw her into the sky just to catch her and set her down with a warm breeze. I earned a ' _weee'_ for sliding her down the wind.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. "It's getting dark."

"I wanted to see you and the Easter Bunny promised he'll take me here!" She giggled.

"The Easter Bunny? Well, where is he?"

"Here, mate." An Australian accent stated behind me.

"Bunny hop hop hop!" Sophie screamed when she saw him.

"Aw, someone likes you." I teased.

"Well," he said picking her up. "who doesn't?"

"Uhhh…" I heard an unfamiliar voice say.

"Oh, shut up!" Bunny said, turning. "You and Frost don't count. You two little-" At the mention of him my gut twisted. Hard.

"Bunny!" The voice exclaimed sarcastically, coming from behind me now. " _Not_ in front of the kids!" And I felt warm hands cover my ears. I quickly turned to look into almond brown eyes and to hear a deep-voiced laugh. _Not as deep and pure as_ his. I thought, but waved the thought away.

"Who are you?" I asked the boy, much taller than me (but then again, everyone was), with sandy blond hair and freckles all over his face. He was wearing a tank top and shorts going all the way down to his knees. The sunglasses on his head glistened in the fading light, as did his eyes.

"Me? Oh, dear. You don't know who _I_ am?"

"Oh boy," Bunny grunted. "Here we go again."

"I am the summer spirit. Giver of joy and slayer of the horrible _SCHOOL_. And of course I am completely handsome." He was… but he was too self involved. Maybe he was trying to make a joke, but Hazel didn't like it.

"I asked for your name." Hazel said. " _Not_ for how pretty you are."

"Okay, okay." He raised his hands in defense, but still smiled. God, he reminded me of _him_! "My name is Hunter Wave."

"Hunter. Are you some kind of guard dog or something?"

"Very funny."

"I know I am."

"Hm. I like her." He said turning to Bunny. "What's your name, honey?"

"Honey? Really?"

"Just tell what your name is, please."

"Hazel. It's Hazel Fall."

"She also has a middle name." Bunny shouted.  
"You know that too?" I asked furiously.

"I ran into Jack when he was leaving my place. We talked for a while. The kid was devastated." Bunny said. My gaze sunk to the ground, like I've done something wrong. But I didn't commit a crime, I just broke a heart. His. But he _stole_ mine.

"So what's your middle name?" Hunter asked.

"Audrey."

"That's a beautiful name. But not as beautiful as 'Hazel'."

I started rubbing my wrist… at the spot where _he_ had hurt me.

" _Wow! What a compliment!_ " I heard a breeze whisper into my ear. I freezed at the voice. The others must have noticed my fear, they started calling my name and looking around like lunatics. But I knew they wouldn't find anything. " _He just wanted to look at your ass all the time. Has he even made eye contact with you... have you noticed that? And I…_ "

I collapsed to the ground.

" _I noticed your eyes right away._ "

But I got up and started to scream, a terrible, blood chilling scream. Sophie started crying and I could see, from the corner of my eye, as Bunny takes her away.

"Hazel... " Hunter carefully places a hand on my shoulder. I shook it away and wished the voice in my head would disappear. "Wha-"

"It's him!"

"Who? What are you talking-"

"He's in my head! I'll never get rid of him!"

"Wait! Who ever this is… Are you sure you want to get rid of them?"

 _No!_ Every part of me was screaming: _NO! No. I want him here. Beside me, holding me. I want him to stop messing with my head. But he hurt me. I hurt him. And we can't go on hurting each other._

"Hey." I whispered to the wind. "Take me away from here." Nothing happened. Hunter stared at me like I was going crazy, which I probably was. But I tried again. "I want to talk. Please."

A cold wind picked me up and flew me up to the sky. Hunter screamed after me, but before he could follow I told him not to. He seemed to have understood. The wind took me to his lake. He stood at the other side of the lake like a ghost, a silhouette in the moonlight. His head hung to his right, his gaze fixed to the water. Where his staff touched the water it froze. He stood in the lake just beside the edge, in knee-deep water. I didn't care for my boots and clothes, I made my way to him, through the water. The last few meters (where I could stand) I ran. Right into him. Slamming hard into a hug. I gripped the back of his sweatshirt and held on.

"I'm so sorry." I cried into his chest. "I was such an idiot. I missed you so much. I was so stupid for thinking I could ever go on without you. Winter was bad enough. It took you only a few seconds a year and a half ago to make me spend a year thinking about you. I just want you to stay here, with me. Just for a while." Tears soaked his sweatshirt and I realised my hair was wet. He was crying too. But his arms hung limply at his sides. I pulled away just a bit to look into his eyes.

"Jack?" My voice shook.

"I-" He took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know, I-"

"But you meant to hurt me." He croaked. I didn't know what to say, so I just mumbled.  
"Ja- I'm- I didn't mean-" Completely exasperated I released him, completely. I backed into the lake, sinking deeper into the water.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know. I can't think without you."

"You said it yourself: I don't even know you and all you know about me is my name and how I became immortal. We don't know each other."

"I don't care! I was so stupid! But I wasn't, at the same time! I just- You know what? Sometimes I wish that I never met you. Every day would be much easier."

"Hazel." I was already deep in the lake when he said that, the water up to my neck. "Here's what I think: I want to be around you. I want to get to know you. But I'm afraid of hurting you. And I am slightly afraid of you. You hurt me so much sometimes…"

"I don't know what to say anymore." I exclaimed stopping then going out of the lake, freezing. I wanted to pass him, to avoid him, but he let his staff fall onto the ice he made on the surface and hugged me. He hugged me so tight, so warm…

"I don't want you to go... " He whispered into my shoulder. "We just need to figure this out."

"Are you serious?" And it was the first time in a long, long time I heard his laugh. It filled me with such warmth.

"Yes. I want to stay here, with you. I want to be your Guardian." And I pressed my lips against his.

 _ **So here it is! The next chapter! I'll let them be happy for a while…. for a while, but not forever. Sometimes I feel like Satan for writing this.**_

 _ **THANKS FOR READING!**_


	13. Chapter 13-Sleep

I put my hands on her hips, pulling her closer, pressing her against me. Her lips were so soft, so gentle. She'd never kissed someone. It felt like she has, actually, but I just hoped I was her first kiss… she wasn't mine. We stayed like that for a while, kissing each other. I never wanted to break apart, I never wanted that sensation to fade when she finally pulled away, I just wanted to kiss her over and over, again and again. I felt that spark when things are alright, I felt safe, I felt like having fun, I felt like _myself_.

I didn't know what to say and I could tell she didn't either, but I said something anyway.

"You're a good kisser." I felt myself smile and saw her blush when she turned her head away. Her hands were pressed against my chest. It was like every part of us was designed for the other to touch. My hands rested perfectly on her hips and her arms could perfectly curve around my neck, our lips closed firmly around each other.

"Is this going to work?" I heard the concern in her voice.

"Don't worry about that now!" I tried to comfort her. "Now you only need to have a bit of fun."

She let out a long sigh but let her hand crawl up to my face and carefully touch it. I closed my eyes when I felt her soft touch and let my forehead rest on hers.

"You know," she started to say. "I always wanted to see your eyes up close, to see their pattern." My eyes shot open at that and I opened them as wide as I could, pressing my face into hers I heard her giggle and felt a grin spread across my face. "Not like that." she explained as she put her left hand on my right cheek and put my head 'into place'. I just kept staring into her eyes, scanning her face. Her genuine smile seemed so happy, so comfortable. Her lips stretched wide when she smiled, wrinkling her freckles. And I couldn't help but sneak another kiss.

We sat under a big tree, staring up at the moon. Her head rested on my chest as her fingers made circles on my palm. After a while the circling stopped and her chest rose in even breaths as she fell asleep. I planted a kiss on the top of her head, left to only my thoughts. I couldn't help noticing small details on her. Her hair was still wet. Her eyes were peacefully shut. Her skin seemed paler in the moonlight. Her freckles almost disappeared.

It was so different now that I could hold her, now that I wasn't afraid to hurt her… but why? What had caused this, this feeling of security, this confidence? How do I know I won't go crazy again? Self consciously, I pulled my arm back, but quickly wrapped it around her again.

"I'm not going to let you slip away again." I whispered into the night air.

I turned to look up at the moon. It shone especially brightly. I don't think I'll ever forget that night. Then I fixed my gaze on the lake. It seemed to shimmer even more in the moonlight like it had something in the water…. It did! I almost sprung up in alarm when I saw Zöe appear out of the cold water. She was completely dry even though she just emerged from the pond. She came closer and closer till her face was inches from mine. I didn't dare speak, not wanting to wake Hazel up. Zöe whispered somehow not moving her mouth.

"Don't be fooled by this." She whispered. "It all looks good for now, but love never lasts."

"Why are you so concerned?" I whispered back, wanting to shout. "Who do you think you are, telling others how to feel?" The sudden rage surprised me, but it felt good.

"I'm just trying to help-"

"I don't need your help!" I half shouted, then quickly turned my head to the sound of Hazel groaning awake. My eyes shot around to find Zöe, but she'd already vanished.

"Who were you talking to?" Hazel asked groggily looking up at me. "I thought I heard another voice."

"What? No." I lied. "You must have dreamt it."

"Yeah… I must have." She wrinkled her nose and forehead, like she was trying to remember something.

 _Lying… that's a great way to start a relationship._ A voice whispered into my ear. I just wished Zöe would leave me alone.

"Why don't you go back to sleep?" I asked her.

"Well, why don't you sleep at all?" She said. I smiled at that.

"I'm a Guardian. Guardians don't need much sleep."

"But you do need _some_ sleep. Just a little?" She yawned.

"I'm not that tired and you're already falling asleep."

"That's not… true." She protested through another yawn, but laid her head back on my shoulder. "I don't understand why you need to keep watch… It's not like-" another yawn. "someone's going to attack us or something." And she drifted off.

 _No one_ is _._ I thought. _But I want to cherish every moment I spend with you._

 _ **Okay thanks for reading again… I hope you don't think this story is boring… 'cuz it sure is a drag to me… Anyway, it would mean a lot if you left a review or something… bout ¾ of my reviews are from my mum… I'm kind of happy how this story is turning out to be.**_


	14. Chapter 14-Opposites

I woke up lying against his chest, his surprisingly warm arms wrapped around me and his cheek resting on top of my head. I didn't move even though I got kind of uncomfortable, I didn't want to wake him up. And I just looked up at his face, deep in sleep, his chest rising and falling with every breath. His lips were opened just a bit, but it made him look like a little boy. Then I remembered last night and how I kissed him and was so frightened if he'd reject me… but he didn't. He kissed me again and again. And I wanted to kiss him, right now, on that childish nose and those white cheeks and those pale lips…

With a small moan his eyes fluttered awake and traveled across the whole pond and found their way to mine, locked with my stare and didn't let go. I didn't want them to. I held that consuming blue gaze and let it embrace me in its depth.

"Mornin', sunshine." His raspy, deep voice whispered as his lips stretched into a smile.

"Good morning." I said and kissed him. His arm reached up behind me so he could dig his fingers into my hair. I held his face in my hands as he kissed me back. "Please don't call me sunshine."

"Why?"

"It sounds like I'm someone who brings sun and life. But I'm not."

"I don't want you to be."

I kissed him again.

He ended up calling me sunshine again. I tried teasing him with snowflake, but he didn't mind so it wasn't fun anymore. He pulls out the child in everyone. We flew back to the park, I wanted to get there on foot, but it would've been too long of a walk. Separate flying didn't happen, as soon as we left the ground he wrapped a strong arm around my waist and flew us to my park in the warm air. When our feet touched the ground he didn't let go for a few seconds, but the retreated his arm and slid his hand into mine.

It was definitely new, this touching thing, but it was definitely . Just scary. But not as scary as the expression Jack had when he saw who was in my tree.

"Well hello, honey." the figure greeted me, but not Jack, as it shifted in the branches of the tree, a shadow jumping from branch to branch.

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Calling me that, I thought I made it clear yesterday... _And_ jumping up and down! Come down here!" I ordered. The movement stopped for a few seconds then made it's way to us. "Finally, Hunter."

"Ah! And I see you've brought a… friend." Hunter smiled. His tanned skin and handsome face stretched into a grin when he saw our hands locked together. "Oooh, a _boy_ friend!"

"Leave us alone, Hunt." Jack murmured under his breath, almost inaudibly, but we both heard him.

"What's the matter, Jack?" Hunter came closer. "The summer heat getting to you?"

"Leave me alone!" Jack said a little louder.

"Wait…" I said, because I couldn't believe that they were fighting. "You two aren't friend?"

"No."

"Nope."

"But you seemed a lot alike-"

"I'm nothing like him!" Hunter cut in, his mood changing fast. "I don't go around freezing everyone's butts of!"

"Yeah, I know." Jack said, his spirit changing as well… "That's my job. I bet you wish you'd be me." he teased.

"Oh shut up!" Hunter huffed. "What do kids wait for all year? What do they want most sitting in wooden desks the whole year? Summer! Me!"

"Please, you know what a good snowball fight can do! And who wants to sit in that oven of a season?"

"Okay! That's it!" Hunter screamed in frustration… or _frost_ -ration as Jack would say. It was getting dangerously hot and the grass at his feet turned yellow in a 2 meter radius. "You little winter worm, you icicle sucker- you-"

"Okay no need for that!" Jack said calmly and let a burst of cold wind collide with Hunter's chest sending him back, but not knocking him off his feet. I could hear the sizzle of cold and hot colliding.

"STOP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Everything stopped. The freezing wind and the raging heat all just stopped. "You two are going to hurt each other! There's no need for that!" I huffed.

"She's right." Jack said to Hunter. "We're stupid for fighting."

"I-I guess." He hung his head. "I'm sorry, dude. F-for everything." He reached out to shake Jack's hand and Jack took it, but quickly pulled back. His hand was covered with blisters. My gaze travelled to Hunter's hand, his was blue from frostbite. The wounds disappeared as soon as they appeared.

"Uh. Sorry." Jack groaned and stretched his fingers. "That actually happened before." He laughed. And Hunter joined him. As did I. And that was a precious moment, I concluded. Because if there was something I learned it was that they were very similar, yet complete _opposites_.

 _ **Thank you for reading and stick around for more… uh… stuff. Yeah, stuff. Okay, please tell me what you thought of this! Bye!**_


	15. Chapter 15-Who we are

_**chapter 15**_

I left her in her tree… I didn't want to. But I did. After Hunter left I stayed with her for a while. We didn't talk much nor did we do anything else. We just sat there, enjoying each other's presence and the peace. When it got dark I kissed her goodbye and flew away, aimlessly letting the wind carry me. I closed my eyes as I drifted over the town and couldn't resist feeling _happy_. Yes, finally, I felt _happy_. Even though I knew there were still a lot of things we had to work on, but for now I was just glad we got to a kind of safe haven. So I let myself smile, grin at the thought of her. Her blushing cheeks and smiling eyes and that smile she tries to suppress, but fails, popped into my mind and didn't go away. I didn't want it to. So when I reached my pond and tree, I fell asleep looking into almost unreal eyes…

And I woke up to the same sight. Not to a dream or mirage, but to her, her real eyes smiling and blinking at me, I woke up to her.

"Good morning, sleepy head." She giggled. And I smiled. I couldn't help it.

"Mornin', sunshine." I said, sitting up and noticed she was flying above me, her hair falling down her shoulders. "When did you get here?"

"A few minutes ago…" She said as she kissed me softly, gently then pulled away and left me wanting more.

"You're beautiful." It was so random, but true. The ever warming sunlight shone in her hair dying it a shade of gold. Her eyes gleamed with joy and childish fun. Her mouth stretched into smiles every few seconds. She was happy. She had fun in her eyes. Fun in her system. And she was happy about that as well. This is what I am meant to make people feel. But she's an exception, because _she_ makes _me_ feel just like _that_ as well.

"I really really like you." She whispered into my ear, leaning in closer and I felt her every breath on my neck.

"I really really like you, too." I answered and wrapped my arms around her, pressed my cheek into her neck and felt her hug me back and clutch my sweatshirt. Then I felt tears on my neck. I pulled away and held her shoulders slightly, lowered my head to catch her gaze.

"You okay?" I asked, my voice shaky with worry. I stroked her tears away

"Yeah, I just-" she let out a short sigh, looked at me and smiled, new tears flowing down her cheeks and glinting in the sunlight. "I'm so lucky to have you."

I went completely silent, speechless. _I'm lucky to have_ you _! Not the other way around!_ I thought. And I kissed her. I kissed her, holding her face and felt her hands lock around my wrists. When I finally pulled away I felt a little hole form in my heart, like a piece was missing and it couldn't be filled unless she kissed me again.

"We can never talk without one of us crying, can we?" She joked.

"That's maybe not such a bad thing." I said. _That may be a good thing. That may be who we are…_

 _ **I"M SO SORRY I DIDN'T WRITE IN A LOOONG TIME! i was just traveling and i didn't have wifi and i'm sorry this is so short, but i kind of have writer's block. i hope i'll find some inspiration soon. 'till then please accept this small chapter…**_

 _ **again, I"M SOOO SO SORRY!**_


	16. Chapter 16-Makeover

He left. And this time with a good reason.

" _What is it?"_

" _Oh the Guardians called. I guess I need to help them with something about Pitch…"_

" _So you're going?"_

" _Yeah… I won't be long. I promise."_

That's how he was gone and I stayed here with Zöe.

"So how are you two doing?" she asked, sitting on a bench in the morning heat. I was sitting next to her and staring into her smile.

"Uh, we're good, thanks for asking." I said." So I guess you know we're together…" Then a strange thought popped into my head "Have you- have you met Jack before?"

"Well, only recently." She seemed surprised at the question. "But I have heard of him before, since he's the most famous spirit of any season… it's hard _not_ to know who he is."

"Yeah… I guess…"

"What's the matter?" Zöe noticed my sigh.

"It's nothing… He just went to do something for the Guardians… something about Pitch."

"And you're worried." She nodded, looking like she took the fact and was trying make the feeling her own, to understand. That made me feel better. She may be a friend. "Don't be scared for him. I think you know what he's capable of."

I just looked down at my hands, placed in my lap, clenched into fists. Her hand slid along my arm and I let it slide into mine.

"He's going to be fine." she reassured me. "Listen…" she started.

"Hm?"

"There's a beach party a few miles from tonight… you could use a little fun. Plus I'm sure Hunter will be there, so we won't be alone. What do you say?"

I thought about it for a while. I never really liked parties, they were always so crowded and I always felt uneasy… but it could keep my mind off thing.

"Sure, let's go." I decided finally.

"Great!" Zöe squealed. "Oh, but first, this is going to be like in all of those movies!"

"no…"

"I'm-"

"Don't say it!"

"Gonna-"

"PLEASE NO!"

"Give you a makeover!"

"Okay, listen." I said. "You can do anything with my makeup, but please just let me stay in these clothes!"

"Well," she cocked her head to look at my sweater. "At least change the T-shirt."

"Fine."

"And who wears woolen sweaters in summer, anyway?"

"The spirit of Fall, maybe?" I grumbled under my breath so she couldn't hear, but got off the bench and followed her towards wherever she was taking me, maybe some secret underground society who gives 'poor unfortunate souls' the makeover they deserve.

Okay, yeah, it was kind of like an underground society of people who love fashion… just above ground… and crawling with people. Literally _everyone_ was there. People in suits, spilling their coffee as they rushed to work, teenage girls, trying on new lipstick and laughing at each other when they tried something on and made stupid poses in front of the mirror, emo groups, musicians, couples, parents with eyebags pulled by their children from toy store to toy store, and then there were people like me. Wanting to disappear, feeling like the slightest awkward movement could get everyone to stare at you. Not laugh, not snicker, but notice you and keep on staring until you're out of there. She took me to the mall.

"No." I said.

"Yes!" she shreaked. And dragged me into store after store after store. Most of it was blur and I could only remember some images and sounds.

 _Floral patterns._

" _How about this?"_

" _How can I help you?"_

 _Dresses._

 _Sunglasses._

 _Dressers."Do you have some more money?"_

on and on…

 _ **So I think it's gonna be over in 3 to 4 chapters… I really hope you're enjoying this and I'm sorry I'm too lazy to write… THANK YOU FOR READING!**_


	17. Chapter 17-Stay away

I looked like an overdressed kook after she was done with me...

Zoe made me wear one of those dresses with the floral patterns

and high-heel shoes and a _ton_ of makeup, curled my hair and gave me a big straw hat. I must admit, I _did_ look pretty, but I didn't feel like myself.

"Let's go!" she squealed as she emerged from one of the changing rooms in _Zara,_ wearing shorts and a nice blouse. She went to pay, because for some reason people could see her… but no one knew who she _was_. That must have hurt a lot.

The party was at nine on the beach of some town close by. People were drinking and singing along while dancing barefoot in the sand. I couldn't see through the crowd of bodies rubbing close together, I could only feel Zoe tug on my arm in a gesture that says: _Come on! I found a hot boy or something and I don't wanna leave you here to be squished._

I followed her, trying not to bump into people, careful not to go through them and feel that awful cold... When Zoe finally came to a stop and when she did she was talking to someone, I couldn't hear a thing, but I could tell it was someone she knew: her muscles relaxed and she seemed to laugh every 10 seconds. Then she turned to me and pushed me to her side. I looked up at her, like literally _looked up_ , throw-your-head-back-and-break-your-neck-while-doing-it looked up. She was so much taller than me and I was so small… I felt so powerless.

That's when I felt someone leaning in really close and a breath (smelling like booze, btw) blast into my face.

"Hey!" Hunter shouted, I could barely hear him, despite the raised volume of his voice.

"Hi, Hunter" I said, leaning away from him. His hair was a mess and he wasn't really wearing a shirt… _No! No, Hazel, look away! He isn't that hot!_ I looked again. I felt heat rising to my cheeks.

"You look nice!" He tried to compliment me.

"Thanks, and you look…" I didn't know what to say… hot? half naked? messy? intoxicated? "Um…"

"I'm off to meet a friend" Thank Santa, Zoe cut in, but she was leaving and I didn't want to be left so alone, even though I was in a crowd I felt like I could've been in a desert and it wouldn't feel any different.

"Bye" Hunter grinned, drunk. Then he turned back to me. "Want a drink?" He offered one of his two red cups.

"I don't drink" I rejected the alcohol.

"Relax, it's just water."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, this one's the beer" he held up the cup in his right hand "and this one's the water." he handed me the drink in his left.

"Okay, thanks." I know what you're thinking. I'm not supposed to take stuff from drunks, but the crowd and heat was too much. I drank the whole thing, cuz I was thirsty and my head started to hurt. "Wha-" the hurt was getting hurtier. I looked up at Hunter and he had three heads.

"Oh… no wait I think I switched them up" he laughed. "Might have also added a bit of, uh, _stuff_ to make me feel better…"

"It's not funny…" Everything was spinning and then it suddenly stopped. A warm feeling filled me up, coming straight from my gut. Hunter obviously noticed a weird smile creeping up my face, cause he said:

"See? Not bad, huh?"

I guess I wasn't really intoxicated, because half a liter of beer can't really get you drunk, but for a first time consuming alcohol and if I heard Hunt correctly he probably added some drugs, as well. I felt queasy. My hat fell to the ground. Then Hunter started dancing, wildly, just being so silly and then I felt like being silly. And he grabbed my hands and we spinned in circles as I felt the harsh drumbeat of this particular song beat against my chest.

 _Freshly disowned in some frozen devotion_

 _No more alone or myself could I be_

Hunter kept dancing and I kept spinning

 _With her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean_

We kept dancing

 _With her straw-blonde hair, her arms hard and lean_

 _She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene_

He reminded me so much of Jack… so much...and why did he leave, anyway?

Then they started a new song… something along the lines: _I fall in love a little bit, every day with someone new…_

Or something like that, anyway. Then I stopped dancing and Hunter bumped into me.

"Hey" I heard him say, out of breath.

 _Well,_ I thought. _He's about to get even more out of breath._

I kissed him hard on the lips, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew it was wrong… but why did I do it? Maybe, it's because he seemed so like Jack. But there was a difference. His bare, sweaty chest pressed against me, his muscular arms wrapped around me… his hugs and kisses were so _warm_. So burning… you'd think he actually meant it.

Suddenly, in the middle of the burning heat of things, a cold, chilly breeze, freezing, frostbite. I heard him, I felt him.

 _Stay away, please, from now on._

The band went off the stage. People barely cheered, they wanted more. But no music came, not even a sad, depressed song… nothing. It was over.

 ** _The next chapter will be the last! Sorry ( for the thousandth time ) for not writing every week, but I've had some trouble with a broken laptop…_**

 ** _STAY TUNED FOR THE END!_**


	18. Chapter 18-End

I haven't heard from him for months. I've spent weeks crying, searching, apologising to the wind:

"It was just a kiss." But the wind didn't respond, as if to say: _So were all the other we shared?_

My fault, that's what this was. And you know all the stories and songs and stuff, were they always have an excuse? He hurt me, this one made me, he cheated, _not. my. fault. …_ well I realised the only one who actually hurt me is myself. In the end _we_ are the real reasons for the crumpling of our happiness.

It was December when I knew what to do. The 22nd was a dark night with a lot of clouds. Cold, yes. Snowy, no. The rain started falling on the people of the ball, soaking everyone, so it was over quickly and I waited.

Now I'm standing here watching him, wondering: what's going on in that head… how does he think? He came, but couldn't look at me at all, didn't dare glance. The air between us is still, silent. I can't bare it.

I'm feeling my heart beat, my pulse rise.

Is she insane? She's actually hear. Or am I the one going crazy? It hurt worse than I imagined. Seeing her is one of the hardest things I've ever done. So I'm not looking. Just staring at the ground. I felt something strange, a scratch at my bare ankles. It is a leaf. Making its way towards her. I'm looking up. Hundreds and hundreds of other leaves are flying to her. Soon a storm of fiery colours is swirling around her. I'm feeling my own flurry rise. A never-ending storm. My eyes stung. I'm looking up and through it all catching her stare. Tears are streaming down her cheeks, her hair wildly flying around her face… there was one think I can make out of this short connection:

 _Please…_

 ** _The End_**


End file.
